I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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