So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
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Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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