Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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