i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
