just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
