My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
