yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
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