I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
