I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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