Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
