just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize