I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
