That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
