Having a random hookup so left but love u
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
