Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
