i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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