im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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