It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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