It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
