just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
