AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
