why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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