Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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