Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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