He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
