his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
