i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
