Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
