He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish i was in the wii world.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
