You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
