I should be sponsored by Trojan
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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