Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
