She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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