We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
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After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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