I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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