Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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