I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
