im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
