I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
