3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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