True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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