two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ugly people sure do ruin things
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
