Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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