As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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