I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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