Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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