yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
