It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
