Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
