I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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