I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
