i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
ugly people sure do ruin things
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
