Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
