the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
