im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
