you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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