I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
