Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
