K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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