i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
