Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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