He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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