So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
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Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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