He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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